Roll No. 377

In the yesteryears I was once taught that

A stands for Apple

B stands for Ball

C stands Cat and rest continues

But since then for me T has always been as troublesome, terrifying n not less than a tsunami...

And unluckily my Roll no. at college during my grads was 377 [starting with the TL] I was slave for 3 years, as this was my identity in my college. And I had no escape. Entire lecture I used to sweat thinking about the time when my professor will take the attendance & I will mercilessly call out my roll call in front of the whole class. With every eye staring at me , making gestures & I am helplessly standing trying to call out 377.

With such a hard block from head to toe I used to come in complete shock .I used to feel very embarrassed n humiliated , with the thought what other might be thinking about me that time.

As in the first year, we are just like newly born butterflies coming out of the cocoon, with all new faces & no one to understand us. As a PWS, I always wanted to interact with new people but I was never myself. The shame n guilt that I used to feel during my roll call took away all my happiness .But still I searched for recognition.

But enough was enough, I wanted recognition. I worked hard in my studies came out as a good scorer, became active member of college placement cell n part of the college magazine as well. Over the time I realized, care a damm what people think about you. At the end only the good deeds matter n what you are as a person matters. Thanks to my stammer .It has made me bold n given me the courage to face the world.

I believe with tremendous turmoil zest and zeal “T” will turn out to be terrific someday J

I believe I can fly

I am a stammerer .I stumble on words, I get a block. But I have started believing myself. I want to be a lecturer interacting night n day with my students. these are few lines from a song” I believe I can fly" which inspired me to see this dream despite being a stammerer.

I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky,

I think about it every night and day

Spread my wings and fly away.....

See I was on the verge of breaking down

Sometimes silence can be so loud

There are miracles in life I must achieve

But first I know it starts inside...."

Since childhood I stammer. During my early childhood I was very shy and introvert and I used to lock myself up in the washroom whenever anyone used to visit my place.

During my schooldays, I used to write scripts for the class assemblies but never participated. I only used to direct them and search for the perfect emotion with which I had written it n wanted in the dialogue delivery. I used to ask my fellow classmates to imitate the emotion but I never had the guts the play any role on stage.

Taking parts in street plays n debates used to fascinate me a lot but I was very reluctant. Neither my teachers ever showed confidence in me nor I ever came forward. But during my 12th standard there was a compulsory presentation. For that I practised a lot and kept myself updated with all the information about the topic which gave me confidence. I presented in front of my 150 batch mates, even though stammered but I dint loose my confidence I just carried on. Everybody was astonished & then there was a round of applause. My teachers complimented me by saying" where have you been all these years".

But after this I dint stop.

Even today I stammer. I am pursuing my master’s n looking forward to be a lecturer. Yes I stammerer, this can’t stop me from being what i want to be. I believe in the almighty above and myself.Cheers!!